Oh honey, you’re a good catch. Why aren’t you seeing anyone? Because I have standards.
Why don’t you just date her already?! Because I want to work on me first.
You’re all ALONE on Valentine’s Day? <insert sympathetic glance> I happen to enjoy being around myself.
When will you get married? I will if I want to in my own time.
Y’all… how many times have you been asked these questions? How many times do you feel a twinge of guilt as if you’re doing something wrong by having boundaries and choosing what’s best for you? It’s because of these societal ideas that cause feelings of guilt, or worse, shame. Side note: Guilt is feeling upset about a decision you made. Shame is feeling as if there is something internally wrong with your character because of your choices. To be quite frank… I’m TIRED of it!
I know me saying these things to you may not help deep down, so these may be some feelings you need to work through on your own time, but then again, maybe seeing this written out will be of some use. The only reason you feel that guilt is because of ideas placed inside your head by family, friends, and society in general through ads, media, etc. You have the choice to shed those expectations and be the most beautiful version of yourself that there is. There is SO much freedom in that! Let go of the guilt of being single. There is NOTHING wrong with you for setting boundaries and having expectations from a partner! The alternatives are harrowing. I’ve seen what those relationships have looked like, even lived them myself. So let me shout this for the people in the back:
This is why I want you, so desperately, to shed the timeline society throws on you, whatever that looks like. They will rush you into their idea of “normal”. Forget their expectations. Take your time. It’s okay to be single! If you never see yourself being in a relationship or being married or whatever, that’s fine too!! The main point I want to get across is this- You. Do. You. Without guilt. Without shame. Without society breathing down your neck that you should be this or could be doing that. Because at the end of the day, the only person walking a mile in your shoes is yourself. So, by golly, make those shoes work for you, no one else. This V-day… buy yourself the darn chocolate covered strawberries. Respect yourself. Treat yourself because the most important relationship in your life is with the startled person staring back when you realize your phone’s camera is facing the wrong way.